Imprinted to be Mine
by RunWithJacobBlack
Summary: Sequel to, "Imprinted to be Yours." When Jacob almost loses Renesmee completely, he's unsure what to think or who to turn to for support. He begins to question how strong is an imprint, really? When Bella turns to comfort him, something happens that puts tension and stress on all Jacob, Renesmee, Bella and Edward's relationships. Do Jacob and Bella walk away?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Broken Pieces

It had all turned into a blur before my eyes … _what had happened? _I kept rolling that question around in my mind, only to come up with a blank question mark of an answer and yet I had been there, I had seen it ... All of it.

_One minute Ness and I were recalling memories we held dear and then the next, she was out to it. Cold and shaky, against me, spite my attempts in keeping her warm, that had worked for a while. After she passed out, I panicked. I didn't know what to do, because I didn't know what had happened. _

_The pack had heard my howl for help. Seth had ran and found Edward and Carlisle to brought them up to the cabin. It was just a blurring memory after that—like a video on fast forward. _

_Carlisle didn't speak a word of what was wrong with her to begin with, but the expression on his and Edward's face stirred my wolf to his core—not helping the glaring, glance of death, Edward gave me whenever he heard my thoughts of wonder and worry. Like I didn't have the right to question what was going on with her! _

_Carlisle spoke so fast while checking her over in the cabin, I hadn't caught a single sentence, but then I heard the words 'hypothermia' and 'baby.' My mind was racing, as I tried to slow it. I tried to keep up and give them any information she had given me, but both of them seemed to block me out as they ran up to the house through a blur in the snow. I wasn't even able to keep up with their pace—shockingly. Slowly, I began to feel like it was my entire fault. _

_Bella was already home when we reached the house. but of course, I was left with the rotten job of holding her back downstairs as the others pitched in the help with Ness. I didn't know how I was able to do it, but I was able to calm down the two of us, without getting my head ripped off … say what you will about Bells, but when she got pissed, she got pissed and she got even. She didn't put up with any shit, including my own._

_Maybe it was the state of shock I was in … or maybe I was dreaming, some god awful nightmare. Whatever it was, reality or nightmares, it didn't feel real. I wondered if Bella felt the same way as we sat together in the lounge room, if you could call it that. It was basically bare._

_As I glanced at her face, I could see the pained expression hidden under her golden-vampire eyes. If she could cry, I knew she would. I just wished they had said what was wrong with Ness. It was ripping my heart in half. With the look of fear on Bella's face, I wondered if she could hear more than I was able to. All the doors were shut upstairs. I couldn't hear any of their words or footsteps._

_After somehow falling asleep, I woke wincing at a pain in my stomach through the icy cold night. I bit down on my lip and searched the room for Bella, only to see Alice blurring up the stairs wearing what I thought was baby pink clothing. I shook my head and winced again. _

_I _had_ to be seeing things. Baby pink didn't suit Alice and she had to know that. She was the shopper of the house after all. _

I must have passed out again after that, as I didn't wake until the morning sun was beginning to shed its cheer over the horizon of mountains, now shining through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the fancy house, floored with vinyl. The weird thing was … I hadn't even felt tired. _What the hell was going on with me_? Apparently,

I had woken to hear Bella's hushed voice, cooing my name. Opening my eyes, I found the hazed. I lightly rubbed the fog away. With a thumping, strumming its way through my head, I felt like I had a hangover, which was weird when I never got anyway unless I had been heavily drinking, which I obviously hadn't.

Looking up to Bella, from lying sprawled out in the couch; I saw she was holding something in pink blankets. I blinked and shook my head. The dull morning light, weirdly, stung my eyes. I groaned as Bella moved to sit beside me with a smile on her face, but there was something else there. Something I couldn't put my finger on.

Groaning, running my hands against the soft white leather into a sitting up, I rubbed my eyes once more and looked down to what she was holding. It was a tiny little thing. The pink blanket was wrapped around her waist and chest. It had creamy skin and the tiniest little hands. For some reason, it didn't connect.

"Meet your daughter, Jake," she smiled, handing her over.

I blinked wide, feeling shock abruptly course through my veins. I didn't know what to say, or what was expected of me to say.

All that could seep from my voice box, was, "What happen?"

Looking down to the baby girl in my arms, I smiled wrapping my arms around her in the baby-pink blanket, covered in white hearts. I felt my own heart swell in my chest, with an overwhelmed feeling of joy now flowing through me. I bit down on my lip, feeling my eyes turn wet. She was beautiful and so sweet, but felt even smaller in my arms. Her eyes opened, flashing a brilliant ocean blue. Never, had I seen eyes with such life before. I could already see the guys lining up at the door for her.

I looked to Bella when she didn't answer. "Bells?"

Hearing a whimpering sound come from her, I bit painfully down on my lip and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. Suddenly, I felt my heart strumming with panic. What was going on?! Bella's head rested on my shoulder as she dryly cried. I was fighting back my own tears now.

"What happen?" I repeated through a whisper. I had to know.

"Jake… Ness is in bad shape. Carlisle's done all he can for her. The baby put her temperature down, she had hypothermia. They don't know how she's going to get through the night."

My jaw fell as my eyes closed, barely keeping myself in contact. "What's going to happen to her?"

She shook her head. "You don't want to know, Jacob."

Tears blurred my gaze as I watched Bella's face, shaking my head in disprovable. _No… they couldn't… no! _Handing the baby back to Bella, I wrenched myself out of the couch and ran outside shaking to the point my body was hurting, hardly keeping in control of myself. This was the Volturi's fault! If they hadn't come, she would have fine!

I ran for the forest, tears rushing down my red flushed cheeks. I wiped them away with the back of my wrist, finding the cliffs of La Push before I expected it.

I sat back amongst the dead, russet-red needles lying below the thick trunk of a pine-tree. Its rough bark pressed into the muscles of my back, but I couldn't have cared less, my chest and heart hurt more. Resting my head against my knees, my arms wrapped around my knees.

This couldn't be happening! It just couldn't be! I felt my heart racing, my chest rising and falling against my knees in an unbelievable pace. My mind was racing, I was seething but not phasing—I didn't want the pack to know. They'd hate Renesmee if they turned her. Most of the pack still didn't accept the Cullens like Seth and I did.

"Jake?" I heard a deep voice speak out of nowhere. He must have been out on patrol

"Go away Sam!" I mumbled the order into my knees, not bothering to lift my head. I couldn't face him now. I knew he'd just tell me to man up and get over it. Even know he understood imprinting, Sam still didn't seem to understand the Cullens like I did, or the connection Nessie and I had from day one of when Bella had come home during her pregnancy.

He sighed and I heard his footsteps stop just behind me. Oh how I wished an alpha order worked on other alphas!

"What's wrong? Ness not giving you enough?" he joked with a chuckle, making an obvious tempt at lighting the atmosphere. I didn't have to lift my head to know he was rubbing the back of neck, awkwardly, from where he stood.

Not saying a word, I smelt the scent of rain flowing on the breeze and the atmosphere change. Before I had been hearing rabbits scampering about and an owl flying around, deer grazing near the shoreline and a crow calling overhead, but now it had all falling to silence apart from the breeze rustling tree branches and long fallen leaves.

_Three… two … one, rain,_ I thought, trying to calm myself within nature. The very instantly I thought the word, it came down in icy drops that were so cold it felt like it seared my skin upon impact. But I didn't care. It could leave scars or wounds; all I had to live for was going. I could feel it in my heart, our lives seeping away with every second that now passed, I felt weaker.

Sam still stood behind me. I could sense him, I knew, he was just waiting until I opened up and spilled my guts, like I usually did, but not this time. Not this time … Getting up to my feet, I wiped my eyes and pushed past him without needing to.

"Jake?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" he shouted as I took off running in human form before he could try and stop me. I could feel his eyes fixed upon my back in surprise of my disrespect.

Going back to the house, concealed by trees apart from the little clearing around it and the driveway, I mounted the stained-wooden stairs and walked inside to see Rosalie waving her hand in front of her.

"Where's the wet dog?" she whined as I shut the door behind me. My eyes rolled as I let out a low snarl. I couldn't help it—I wasn't in the mood for her shit, even if she was just playing around.

"Rose!" Bella scowled lowly, still sitting in the white leather couch where I had left her, an hour or so before. At least both her and the baby looked comfortable. I tried to focus on that instead of the presence of the other vampire.

The white shirt and jeans I had changed into with bringing Nessie back; were annoying clinging to my buff frame. If I had even tempted to take my shirt off, I knew, I would have ripped it to pieces in my fit of anger and frustration. My wolf was on edge with worry and fear. It was taking everything inside me just to keep him from running up those modern white stairs and demanding what was going on with Ness. All I wanted to do was to know she was going to be okay and to see her.

Much to my relief, Rosalie rolled her eyes with a huff and disappeared out of the room within a second. Sitting down beside Bella, I took the now sleeping baby into my arms, only just having control of myself, until I took her into my arms—she somehow calmed me.

"Has she got a name?" I murmured, my voice suddenly cracking on the last word, as I glanced to Bells from the corner of my eye.

"No, Jake. I thought you'd want to name her," she forcefully smiled, as Rosalie re-entered the room once more. I ignored her this time, in hope she would easily become bored with all the attention not signally on her.

"Sarah," I whispered with a small, hopeful smile, glancing to Bella. It was my only piece of hope left, that my mum would spear Renesmee for me and not the angels.

"Your mum would like that."

"Here." Rosalie threw a hand-towel at me, which Bella rose to her feet to catch and hand to me softly. She rolled her eyes in response. "Dry up."

I shook my head and did as she said, drying my hair with the cloth and smirked darkly as I threw it back to her, forcing her to catch it. Her face grimaced and scowled, holding it far away from her, before turning her glare of disgust from the towel to where I sat.

"Now, go wash it," I smirked. She groaned a snarl, shaking her head as she strode off upstairs. Lightly, Bella giggled from my side, before I sighed, wanting to know how Renesmee was, though I didn't dare ask. My heart didn't feel right. Its beats were off and I felt the same way.

I couldn't help but lean into Bella's arm wrapped around my shoulders as she watched Sarah soundly sleep. I sighed, biting down on my lip, I didn't want to say it, but she had to be aware.

"If Ness dies …" I chocked on the word. "You know, I do, right, Bella?" I turned my head to meet her gaze, she didn't show anything, nor give anything away. It was harder to see, to read, what she was thinking now she was a vampire.

She pushed back my cropped hair like I was a son to her. I felt that way from her touch, but I couldn't even imagine Bells being my mum … As hard as I tried to, throughout half of my life.

"You'll be fine Jake," she murmured with a smile, though I could tell it was forced. There was something they weren't telling me, and deep down, I think I already knew for what I was beginning to feel.

"Bella, take Sarah," I whispered, passing my daughter over to her and rested my head against her, her arm was wrapped around both I and Sarah, where I felt for once, that _I_ was the one that was safe. I was so used to protecting people and protecting myself, but for once, I felt protected, of.

"It's okay Jake," she cooed, brushing her cool hand down the side of my face. She must have sensed my fighting back the tiredness I felt. Her hand lightly gripped my own. I was slowly turning numb and I wasn't sure why.

My hand rested on my stomach, when I felt Bella take it. Suddenly, her hand really did feel icy against my skin. I gave it a small squeeze as I twisted our fingers together. I felt weak against her, like all my strength was seeping out me.

The leather felt cold against my soaked clothing. Oddly, it wasn't too hard to ignore.

"I'm scared," I breathed, admitting something I normally wouldn't and hadn't since turning wolf, because I hadn't ever felt a need to. I had only admitted I was scared to Bella once before in my entire life ... all the other times, I had only ever shown it.

"_Shh_ Jake," she cooed. "Its okay. I'm here. I'm not leaving," she whispered so softly, I could have sworn it was spoken through song.

Wetness ran down my cheek as I dragged my teeth over my lower lip. Feeling the numbness spread to my hands, I gave in and slipped into the darkness that consumed me in one swallow.


	2. Chapter 2

Gasping awake as though I hadn't been able to breath, I flung myself up in the bed, wincing at the needle taped into my arm while leaning back against the palm of my hands placed against the hardness of the white sheeted mattress.

_What the hell had happened?!_ I thought with a groan. Lying back against the mattress, staring up at the sterile white ceiling, I noticed a black fan turning its blades around and around in the middle of an air vent. I knew I was in one of the Cullen's 'hospital' rooms. But why had they put me here?

The only thing I could come close to describing the feeling I had throughout me, was the feeling of death. I felt weak, exhausted, starving, empty, and lifeless. I felt as though there were things missing too, but I wasn't sure what. There were other feelings too, though they were that of something I could not describe, if my life depended on it.

Suddenly as my mind came to and caught up with my body, I remembered Ness. _Was she okay? God I hoped so._ I didn't know what I'd do if anything happened to her!

Grabbing the edge of the blankets, in a flap they were off the legs of my jeans, lying in the middle of the bed as though someone had _placed_ them there, instead of been _thrown_ off. I found it odd I had even noticed such a detail. I barely ever made the bed, let alone noticed how it looked.

Swinging my legs over the edge of the mattress, standing to my feet, the ground began to spin out from under me, the whole room felt as though it was within a tornado, going around and around at an unbelievable rate—it was that or the world suddenly had pms and was throwing a fit, tempting to throw us all off its surface … Stumbling back, I tried finding something to grip to, not able to see the bed or bedside table that I knew was somewhere around me, before I felt someone grip my arm, steadying my balance.

Closing my eyes for a moment, they reopened to look up to Sam, staring down upon me with a look of concern I had _never_ seen. His jaw was clenched hard to the point his teeth would have been grinding together and his eyes appeared the emotion of wariness.

Slowly as he eased me back to the side of the bed, I noticed he was holding his shoulders tight and his lips were pursed together. I could see the movement under his the dark russet skin of his jaw dragging forward, to graze his teeth over the bit of lip that was out of my sight, inside his mouth.

How long had he been standing there? And why hadn't I sensed him?

Touching my hand to my bare chest, half expecting to have felt my heart quicken in the sudden fit of dizziness, I blinked when I didn't feel its pattering against my palm. From the sterile white floors of the Cullen's hospital room, my eyes swept up to Sam's face. I could feel my eyes had turned wide with shock and Sam's gaze only reflected my own.

"I'm dreaming," I muttered huskily, glancing out the floor-to-ceiling window to assure myself. The sun had set and it was beginning to turn dark on the forest of endless trees, and of course, it was raining—which provided no relief. If it hadn't been raining, maybe I would have believed the sound of my own words.

My glance went from outside, back to Sam's stern gaze. He was still wary, but didn't speak. I felt as though he was trying not to speak a word for if he did, he'd say something wrong.

"Aren't I?" I had meant it to sound as if I spoke in fact, but instead it came out in a question.

Shaking his head, Sam let out the breath he must have been holding for the loud sigh that escaped his grasp. "No, Jacob," he answered deeply.

My eyes narrowed and my head tilted to the side as he glanced out the door on the opposite end of the white room. "What do you mean, no, Sam?" I murmured, my voice turning out almost silent. "I have to be! We don't live without a freaking pulse!" I shouted, panicked.

What was he talking about?! No, I wasn't dreaming? I had to be! Our kind didn't live without a heartbeat.

Suddenly the dizziness returned. With a groan, my eyes shut and I fell back against the bed, the mattress flexed under my weight, causing my body to jump once under the bounce. _What the hell was going on?_

Reopening my eyes, I could see Sam's figure blurring with tremors shaking through him, like small earthquakes, I could feel them through the ground where my feet reached down to the tiles. Sam never lost control this easily! Maybe he had since first phasing, but never since.

"Sam, tell me what's going on? Please," I begged, turning desperate for information of any kind. "Is Ness okay?"

His hands balled at his sides as he shook his head. I could hear him taking deep breaths in an attempt of stopping himself from phasing. "No Jacob … and that's why you don't have a pulse," he growled low, stalking out of the room before the wolf could take over and probably trashed the room and seriously hurt us both … but what did he mean?

Was, Ness alive?! And what did that have to do with my heart?! What the hell was going on, and where were all the Cullens?!

"Bella?" I groaned, trying to get to my feet, only to fall back again, forcing a springy squeak out of the mattress ... and here I thought they were rich. I waited for Bella to show, but she didn't.

"Alice? Bella? Anyone?" I yelled, knowing one of them had to have heard me unless they were all out; which I knew shouldn't have been the case.

From where I laid on the side of the bed, if I didn't move a muscle, I could hear quiet hums of murmurs downstairs, but I couldn't pick up a single word that was being said.

Now this was just getting frustrating! I felt as though I was in torment.

"Bella you know I hate been kept in the dark!" I shouted louder so she couldn't ignore me and within seconds, I heard someone sigh and someone else—I think Carlisle—speak.

Hearing steps coming up the stairway, at first I thought it was Alice, as the weight associated with the sound didn't sound heavy enough to be Bells. But then I saw her, peaking around the side of the white painted frame of the door. She wore a velvet blue dress. Her shoes were missing from her feet.

"What in hell is going on Bells?!" I demanded.

"What do you mean?" her voice whispered. I blinked, shocked by what my ears were telling me I was hearing.

My eyes narrowed. "Don't play games with me Bella. How about how Sam just stormed out of here, about to phase? How about me not having a pulse or a heartbeat for that matter?! And this dizziness I keep getting whenever I try and stand?"

Biting down on her lip, she stood across the side of the bed from me, with her hands resting in her lap. Again, I saw that look, the look of 'I'd cry if it were possible.' That look, melted away what little anger I felt. My eyes softened and relaxed as I reached my hand out to hers, for help to sit up.

Taking my hand into her cool grip, Bella pulled me up into a sitting position in the middle of the bed. With still feeling like the world was spinning out of control, slowly I scooted up the mattress and leaned back against the hard wooden headboard while Bella sat back against the icy steel end of the bed, where just behind her was a small wheelie-table with a tray of food on it. For some reason, I wasn't hungry.

"What's going on?" I murmured. My eyes stayed narrow on her face as her golden eyes flicked blinks while being completely fixated upon the woven pattern of the white hospital blankets that lay, spread between us.

Bella looked drawn in the face, older, for some reason. I had seen the same appearance once before in Edward … and I didn't want to think about it.

"Sam was worried when he seen you out there, a few days ago. He followed you back and you were asleep. He's been here since."

I blinked in disbelief of how she had just spoken, like sleeping for days was natural for everyone! I was lucky to sleep for a few hours, not days!

"A few days ago?!" I questioned. "Why haven't I woken since then Bella? Why have I got a drip in my arm?" I winced sharply lifting my right arm to show my fact. The needle and tape pulled on my skin and vein. I hate IVs! "And why don't I have a heartbeat?"

She swallowed hard, like chocking back a lump of tears and then I knew I was right when her eyes were fluttering like butterfly wings, like tears were actually possible to accrue for her anymore.

"Tell me Bella!"

"Renesmee died for three seconds Jacob. That was when you went to sleep, before _they_ turned her. Since then you haven't had a heartbeat, but because she is like us and because you imprinted on her, you're alive, Jacob. I'm sorry," her voice broke, and if I didn't know better, I could have sworn Bella was in fact crying.

Hearing her, I felt my world somehow shatter. But how could I feel that way? So what I didn't have a heartbeat? I was still, weirdly in some way, alive. And now Ness was a real vampire? I still had her and she still had me. I'd gotten used to Bella's scent, along with the rest of the Cullens. But then, I realised … I couldn't feel or sense my wolf.

Swallowing hard, I realised now why Sam was so upset. I'd lost my wolf and La Push had lost their main protector.

"Is she awake?" I murmured.

Taking in a shaky breath and sitting up straight from leaning over, resting her head against her arms that were wrapping around her legs, Bella nodded and met my gaze. "She's been worried about you—wanting to see you."

I forced a small smile over my mouth. "I want to see her too … but now what? What happens next, Bella?" I didn't know what had made me ask it or even why I had … it just left like this couldn't be the end of the path. Something else _had_ to happen. We couldn't be both frozen in time, like two unnaturally frozen humans, together forever –if I had that—trying to live normal, natural lives. I didn't even understand nor yet grasp what I was questioning.

"Renesmee has to learn to keep her thirst under control, but you're safe, now you don't have a pulse."

"I guess … that's an upside," I muttered, shrugging my shoulders, trying to act as normal and unfazed as possible. I didn't want to mention the whole fact that I had lost my wolf, but then I wondered if my scent had let that cat out of the bag already. But I hadn't exactly meant what she had answered with.

"What about the dizziness?"

"Your body still thinks you're, humanly alive, with a pulse just your blood-pressure is too low. Carlisle says it'll adapt over time. Take these for now." Leaning over to the table, Bella reached over the tray of food and picked up a small though fat white bowl into the grasp of her fingers and handed it to me.

Slowly reading the label while my eyes fought me all the way, my brow rose in question. "It's blood-pressure medication Bells."

She nodded. "To stop the dizziness Jacob … Carlisle said to give it to you."

"Right." I highly doubted that it'd work, but I guess I had nothing to lose anyway. Reading the label Carlisle had obviously written for its beyond neat script-writing, I threw back two pills and swallowed hard as Bella offered a cupful of water. Sipping a mouthful, it washed the sickening flavour of them out of my tastebuds.

"Thanks," I murmured, sitting back and slowly felt the world beginning to slow. I reached over and placed the cup on the table.

"Ow!" I cried out abruptly, looking to Bella as she pulled the IV from my arm, unexpectedly. Shaking her head, she wrapped a band-aid over the none-bleeding hole in my arm and threw out the tubes and needle.

"Ready?" she sighed from the other side of the bed.

Still feeling slightly dizzy, I stood to my feet once more to find I was able to at least walk now.

"I think so," I breathed, feeling like this was going to be some monumental moment in my life, for what reason, I was clueless. It felt like it was my wedding day—which I hadn't yet experienced but had imagined for years that, this would be the way it felt.

I knew if my heart could still had its beat, it'd be racing right now. As it was, I could feel the clenching nervousness tightening in my chest and stomach.

Standing at the door, Bella offered her hand out with a small smile over her pouty lips—she must have been wearing lipstick for her lips to have been flushed such a bright red. Instead, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and took slow strides down the creamy white carpet of the hall.

Coming to the glass stairway, my arm dropped to my side, hearing Ness's new magical voice … but something was missing. _Where was the pull?_ From the top stair, I could see Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Edward crowding around her as she spoke with the voice of a beautiful bird. Taking another two steps down, I could see Alice appear within my view, sitting on the leather couch with her legs daintily crossed, wearing black stockings, black flats and a royal blue dress, similar to Bella's, only thicker in material.

Hearing me coming, with his hands crossed behind his back, wearing all white, Carlisle turned and raised his head to meet my gaze. With a gentle nod of his head, his usual gentle hospital smile spread over his mouth. I had only seen his professional smile a few times, but for some reason, seeing it now put me on edge. It wasn't like I didn't trust the guy, it was just the fact I was half expecting to see a hospital-like scene with Ness, like I had with Bella all those years ago.

"Jacob," he murmured, holding my gaze with some hidden, 'be prepared,' message in his stare. I glanced to Bella as she silently stood beside me. She offered a small encouraging smile.

"Jake?" Ness sang. I could hear the anticipation ring throughout her voice.

The nerves in my chest tingled, as though I was waiting on something bad to happen, but why would I be? Going down the rest of the stairs, I turned to see Renesmee, sitting next to Alice, her skin paler than usual, but still how I remembered Ness.

She was slightly taller, her lips paler but still Ness's. Her hair shone a different tone of reddish-brown, I was sure Alice had dyed it or something to go with her new red eyes. She wore an elegant, fitted shimmering red dress, sparkling in the bright lights of the Cullen house.

Apart from that, she was still _my_ Ness … but _it_ was missing. The pull was missing. The imprint … it was gone and without it … I didn't feel the same, after all these years, I thought it was real. But it had only ever been the imprint.

I had been right the first time—before Ness was born—imprinting just screwed up your life and took away your own freewill and want for who you really wanted to be with.

"Jake, what's wrong?" Ness asked through a whimper. I was staring at the foot of the couch, unknowing to my hands turning to fists and that Nessie had moved until she took it into her own grip. She cupped the side of my cheek with great care. My eyes eased closed as I shook my head

"I can't …" to my surprise, my voice broke, like somewhere deep, deep down my wolf was still there and howling out in pain of what I was feeling and what _he_ was seeing. But I didn't sense him… feel him, like I wished, so much, I could.

Taking in a staggering breath, my eyes reopened to meet her gaze. "I can't Ness … I love you, but … I'm not in love with you. The imprints gone … I'm sorry."

Pulling out of her light grip, I ran out of the house, while hearing Bella and Renesmee's cries for me to stop—if they wanted to, they could have easily stopped me. I ignored and kept on running, I couldn't turn back, because the life of who I thought I was and had become; an alpha, a shapeshifter, protector of La Push, my people, my imprint, of my imprint's family and of my own kids, died in that house, and I didn't see how it'd come back in a million years, if I had that long now. I was just a human ... without a heartbeat.


	3. Chapter 3

Tears thickly streaked my cheeks. I tried hard to push them back as I raced through the dulling forest. Night was setting in. All I was focused on though was getting away from that white house. There was only one other place I called home, where I knew it'd be next to painless to live.

Pushing past trees, with new-found ease I jumped over fallen logs and boulders—it felt like I was flying, like I did in my wolf form, racing over my lands, howling out my freedom. It was as though I had found a new side of wildness in my life, in myself. I wondered if I had always had it, or if it was a part of my new life?

From above, clouds loomed heavy, darking with movement of the wind pushing them along. Stopping on the boarder of La Push and Forks, my eyes grazed over the clouds hovering against the trees lining the cliff's edge, seeing the instant the clouds ripped open, releasing their contents in pouring buckets over First Beach. The downfall began its movement into my direction. Within seconds, I was drenched through.

My head moved from side to side as I let out a held, frustrated breath. The rain's coldness was just like pattering against the skin of my arms. There was no relief like I use to feel in my warm body. Rain was just, rain now … It didn't mean anything.

Closing my eyes, my head rose to the clouds. I couldn't feel anymore, inhuman than I did within that moment. The touch of the droplets, I used to treasure. The coldness in winter and warmth of them in summer, where what made me feel alive, and even after my shifting into a wolf, I still had that refreshing sensation of ice touching heat. I loved the cold after phasing.

Stepping onto La Push lands, my strides haltered the instant I heard a snarl. Searching, a chocolate wolf slowly stepped out from behind a clump of bushes, his eyes on my face, his lips pulled back, flashing his teeth. The rain drenched his fur.

"Jared, let me past," I ordered, my tone calm. My jaw clenched along with my hands into fists—something's never change. A familiar rising heat rushed up my spine, though nothing came of it. Normally, I'd be standing on all fours by now.

With a snarl, his form shifted human, standing tall with his arms were crossed over his chest. "You're not welcome here anymore Jake. Go! I'm the alpha now."

My eyes went wide. "What? Shifter or not Jared, this is my home! I'm not challenging you. Let me past!"

"You're one of them now Jake. Sam told us. We only respected you and the Cullen's because of your imprint. That's gone now. Things go back to how they used to be—how they should have stayed. Get out of here. Don't make me fight you."

Staring him up and down, my jaw hung slightly open. I didn't know what to say. I hadn't been aware of Jared's thoughts to all this. All this time, I believed change had been cast over the minds of the two packs. But nothing had changed. I thought they had finally accepted the Cullens, Renesemee … Somehow that thought cut me deep—deeper than it would have years and years ago.

Steps over dried up dead leaves caught my attention. Shifting my body towards the road, Seth was striding towards us, wearing only his cut-off jeans. From strands of his dark hair plastered to his skull and forehead, tiny rivers of rain ran down the sides of his concerned face. He looked older, taller from just days ago when I had last seen him.

"Let him past Jared. Jake's still Jake. He hasn't changed." Standing beside me, I saw the kid, who had protected the Cullen's and joined my small pack, all those years ago. It was then I realised, we hadn't changed much at all—in personality or appearance—Seth and I, were still the same, with or without a heartbeat—with or without a wolf. Humans, supernatural or paranormal beings were all the same, just some of us had added abilities.

"Says the vampire loving shapeshifter," Jared muttered, rolling his eyes. What had gotten into him? Had the alpha status already gone to Jared's head? He was behaving like Paul!

Growling low, Seth's figure began to blur before he was suddenly standing on all fours, lips pulled back, baring his teeth snarling. Crouching low, Seth leaped at Jared just as he stood wolf before us, easy pinning him down like the alpha was a lightweight pup. From the corner of his eye, Seth glanced at me and somehow I knew what he was saying—'go now.'

Running past the growls, snarls and yelps, I made my way to First Beach and to dad's house. Going up the ramp, I knocked while searching the area. I hoped the rest of them didn't react the same way as Jared. If he had attacked me, there was little chance—if any—of being able to fight him off.

Hearing dad's wheelchair squeak their way to the entrance, the old door slowly came open. "Jacob," he murmured and smiled, pulling himself back out of the doorway. "Good to see you again, son."

"You too dad," I tried to smiled but it was hard. Coming out half-hearted my father saw straight through it.

"Alright what's the matter, Jacob?" he questioned, closing the door behind me. I thought Sam would have told him first.

From my old room, a little face peaked around the doorframe. His face lighted up with seeing me, making a real smile come over my mouth.

"Dad!" Will shouted, running into my outstretched arms—I was still getting used to hearing the word 'dad,' directed at me and not someone else. Enclosing my arms around his little body, his own went around my neck as I stood.

"I was wonder where you got to buddy."

"Been playin' dad!"

"What have you been playing?" Glancing to my own father, he was watching me with a stern expression, arms folded over his chest. Exhaling, I stepped back to sit on the couch. Placing Will in my lap, he faced me and pressed his tiny hands to my heart, tilting his head to the side in silent question. Dragging my teeth over my lower lip, I couldn't help but pull them away—I didn't feel right without a heartbeat, especially after running. I knew Will didn't know any better, but I didn't want any reminders, even innocent ones.

"He's been playing forts. Sound familiar son?" Wheeling himself over, dad stopped in front of the couch, watching as I bounced William on my knee. A small smirk pulled over my face, remembering how I used to pretend to camp out in the middle of the forest under a sheet in my room. I especially played it whenever Bella stayed over as we'd act out running from a bear and I'd save her. How I craved for those days to be back.

"What's been going on Jacob?" he whispered after a silent moment or two.

Opening my mouth to reply, Will answered instead. Taking my hand, he set it over his heart before pressing his palm back to mine. "It missin' dad," he murmured. "It broke?" His eyes were teary as he tilted his head to the side.

Sighing, I nodded. "Yeah buddy … it is. I'm still here though. I'm not leaving you."

Meeting my own father's concerned eyes, he glanced away and sighed. "I take it Renesmee didn't make it through the hypothermia then Jacob?"

"No … What do you know about it?"

"Seth informed me after bringing over William. He said Bella thought it'd be best not to allow him to see his mother in the shape she was in."

Nodding in agreement, my eyes closed as my arms tightened around Will. Feeling dad's hand on my shoulder, I tried to hide the tears that threatened to overflow my already wet face. Drops ran down the side of my face from the strands of my fringe.

"It'll be okay Jacob."

Shaking my head, I bit down on my lower lip, feeling the skin's strength break against the force of my teeth. "No, it won't dad. The imprints gone, I don't feel the same way about Ness … I have a daughter back at that house where I feel like my life died. I'm this _thing_ without a heartbeat. Jared says I'm no longer welcome here. Seth fought him just so I could see you. I don't feel my wolf—I just want my life to go back to normal!" I cried. Will clung to my frame. Somehow, he had found sleep.

"All will sort itself out in time, soon, son."

"Soon is not good enough dad! I want my life back! There have to be legends or something about this—what am I?"

Sighing, his head shook from side to side. "I cannot answer that Jacob—I have not heard of anyone or thing without a heartbeat other than The Cold Ones ... and zombies," He smirked.

"Not funny dad."

Sighing, he continued. "Just know … there is a cure for Renesmee, Jacob that only you can give her, because of who you are to her and your bond … but you're the only one who can find it, son. I'm sorry. Goodnight Jacob." And with that, he rolled himself down the hall and flicked off the main light to the hall, leaving only the lounge room light.

Shaking my head with confusion, I rose to my feet, feeling the world spin around me—not again … I was already getting sick of my new form, and to think, I had once thought being half wolf and phasing into one was bad. This was ten times worse.

Flicking off the lights, I walked into my room. In my drenched jeans I laid out in my tiny bed, setting Will beside me. For a kid, he slept deeply. Turning onto my side, feeling restless, I watched as he took deep breaths in and out, making the slightest snoring sound. So softly, I could hear his heart beating.

Now I understood why Edward had once found watching Bella sleep so fascinating. There wasn't an interest there, until you no longer had it yourself.

It was surprising at just how much of a relief and comforting it was to lay in my own bed for once. I loved sleeping with Ness, in her big fluffy, soft bed, but I still rathered my hard, spring mattress. It was nice to be home, even on such bad terms.

Starting up at the ceiling, my mind began to wonder what dad had meant. Why did _I_ have to find the cure? He obviously knew it, to know there was one. Silently groaning, I rolled my eyes. This was what he always did! Give me half the answer and then turn to bed before he gave out too much information. Years ago when I asked why he always did that, he replied with, 'It helps you grow, son.' But why couldn't _now_ be an exception? Couldn't he see how desperate I was?

Seeing the small crack in the roof where paint had chipped away, spin, my eyes shut tight, willing the feeling to go away. When it didn't, I shifted onto my side, wanting sleep to consume me, but my body was restless … along with my mind—did I even need sleep now? Could I rest, sleep? I hadn't thought to grab the pills from the Cullen's hospital room before taking off.

Stroking my son's cheek as he shifted in his sleep, my mind wondered back to Sarah at the Cullen's house. I hoped she was okay. She was a tiny little thing in my arms … Sighing, I shook my head. I felt like a failure, for how I had ran from Ness, Sarah and Bella. I didn't have enough money to buy William his own bed or many toys.

When did things get so complicated? Or more importantly, how, how did this all happen? One minute it went from just me and Ness being friends, to dating, fooling around like any normal boyfriend and girlfriend, to two kids and _him…_ I wondered where Nahuel had gotten to. I couldn't remember seeing or sensing him at the house. That concerned me. I still didn't want him around Renesmee, whether I was in-love with her or not. _There's the jealousy speaking, Jacob,_ I thought, sighing.

Slipping out of bed, through the darkness I made my way into kitchen, careful not to trip or fall as the surroundings spun and blurred around me. Getting to the medicine cabinet, shuffling through it I hoped to find something alike Carlisle had given me.

When it was clear dad didn't own any of the meds I needed, from the wall I picked up the phone and dialled in a number, giving myself one more chance to get what I needed or suffer through whatever would happen if I didn't take them.

"Hey Emb … I need you to get me something from the Cullen's, if you will?"


End file.
